A non-alcoholic version of The Union, Kaif was a between lectures (or avoid lectures altogether) way station. Somewhere you and your friends could nurse hangovers, sip a chocolate Sterie Stumpie, and surreptitiously watch your campus perves come and go.
RMR
Kaif was Rhodes Music Radio’s finest hour. Their daytime DJ’s filled the room with well-loved end of the ‘80s stuff like Tears for Fears, The Cure, The Human League; new ‘90s bands like the Stone Roses, Charlatans, R.E.M.; and loads of other familiar songs we had on the brain and on mix tapes back home in res. Four I remember being played to death in 1991 were Enigma “Sadness”; Seal’s “Crazy”; “All This Time” by Sting; and Martika’s one hit wonder “Love… Thy Will Be Done”. Hearing any of them today takes me right back to the pine wood booths, green topped tables, and the Great Field in the background.
I Never Lose At Ludo
A notice board on the wall carried various handwritten ads, and became the battleground of a libellous poster war between Dave Fair and Nick Gray. Dave’s opening salvo was a handmade A3 poster with the headline “I NEVER Lose at Ludo”. It carried on: “Yes! I, Nick Gray, will teach you the secrets of the Ludo Masters. Never lose at Ludo again! Contact Nick, at Piet Retief, Room 304 for REAL results.” Nick fired back with “The Smiths’ memorabilia and CDs on sale. Everything must go. Room 207, Piet Retief Res, day or night.” Dave won in the end.
Photocopy and Pass!
The photocopy machine in Kaif was the hardest working in the world. Every June and November lax students would queue up with towering piles of borrowed notes, hoping to photocopy all the lectures they’d missed, and cram their way through exams. Miraculously enough, this approach usually worked, leading to more missed lectures and more time lounging in Kaif.
Fuck McDonalds
A Kaif bacon burger and Crème Soda would stop a hangover at 20 paces, and a pack of Stuyvie Reds cost just R1.40. Good value.
6 comments:
Ohhh I spent WAY too much time there, and in the RMR office and studio, "writing the news" and therefore not bothering to actually attend any Journ lectures... I learnt of the joys of chicken mayo and cheese sandwiches at Kaif. Remember the Std Bank ATM in that little room just outside it? In those days you could draw R10 and feast for the day and get pissed by night. Good times.
rHeh heh. And those kung fu game machine thingies. Rhodes Music Radio. Aish! Did you ever hear the programme that Mike Williams did - on the decline of the White Heterosexual Male? And he asked me to come on and talk about my (fictional I might add!) boyfriend and our very egalitarian relationship and our strap on dildo that we shared. Boy did I get some askance looks after that show. Hahahaha.
Tim, reading your RMR post, and teasing us with those 4 tunes, I sure hope you are actually working up to the Ultimate Rhodes ‘90-’94 mixed tape selection…. I hope it has several volumes….
Tanya,
Yes, a set of mixes by year would make a kief download site. I'll put it up sometime soon.
Brilliant! I am captivated. In the book, though, you must call this chapter Secrets of the Ludo Masters. Maybe even call the book that.
Seriously loved the touch with the music samples Tim. Have a stupid smile on my face. More more!
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