Friday, October 31, 2008

Masturbation is Not a Victimless Crime

Sometime in 2nd year The Fat Guy with the Beard nicked a blank Rhodes University letterhead from Admin. He scanned the logo into his computer and soon we had a realistic, official Rhodes letter we could write whatever we liked on.

Unbecoming Behaviour
Our first letter was to the much loathed Justin Kretschmar:

10. November 1991
Rhodes University
Grahamstown 
6140

To Justin Kretschmar (Student number 691K2365),

Our laundry staff have complained repeatedly about which appear to be on closer examination, semen stains on your bed sheets.

As you may or may not know, masturbation is a finable offence, and hardly behaviour we consider becoming of a Rhodes University student. Consider this your final warning, and please desist immediately.

If you have any queries, please contact Gwen Shaw, laundry department head, at block B, Jan Smuts Hall.

Yours sincerely

Derek Henderson
Vice Chancello

Kretschmar bought it hook, line and sinker. “How do they KNOW?” he screamed at his best mate Keith. 

How we laughed.