Your saliva’s working overtime; the heaves are rolling from the pit of your stomach, and you’re gulping like a goldfish on hot tarmac. That last drink was just one too many. It and dinner are about to stage a comeback. All this, and nary a maltese poodle to be found, for love nor money.
Liam and I had a running bet: first person to vomit on a maltese poodle wins a case of Black Label. The vom had to be hands-free: you couldn’t hold it or anything, just had to take it by surprise and PHROOOOOOOAUUUGH! There had to be at least one eye-witness, and the prize was doubled if the moment was captured on film.
There were a couple of close calls, including me chasing a yapping maltese through several Pietermaritzburg hedges during intervarsity. I pursued it for about four blocks before collapsing wheezing to all fours and chundering in a rhododendron bush.
The prize remains unclaimed.
5 comments:
It's interesting how memories have a viral quality to them: one person's recollection can trigger a flood of abandoned memories in the other... In this case Stu Buchanan accepting the Mexican challenge at the Spur. He chugged a full bottle of Tabasco to much acclaim and respect; then spent the next 18 hours vomiting - from High Street up the hill to Walker, then back down again to San. All the nurse said to him was "Silly boy!"
Indeed. The tobasco story just reminded me of Slimer drinking a bottle of bioplus. He went stark raving Nick Cave novel preacher mad. Exorcised the ice cream fridge at Bambi's then leaped from table to table at the Union berating sinners and jezebels. He was restrained by us and locked in his res room til morning.
Ahhh, Bioplus, now that has just reminded me of the one thing I DON’T miss about Rhodes… ‘all-nighters’….made worse if you had no class mates to share them with…pure evil!!!
But if you had caught it, vomited on it, etc, how would you prove? This is what keeps troubling me. Vomiting on a maltese poodle is one thing (and hard enough mind you) but to then tuck it under your arm, all vomity and yapping and ensure that you get it to the relevant people to win the relevant bet... this is where I start to feel a little queasy.
That and all the vomiting stories of my own that you have stirred up in me. Brok.scuse me. we'll - er. oops. watch out. later.
tam,
The trick was to get a reliable eye-witness, who could verify under a polygraph.
Holding or handling the dog was strictly forbidden.
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